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She leans forward, looks at me intensely and says, “You’re having a hard time finding work as a journalist, right?” I’m a little confused by the sudden change of subject, but I answer, “Yes.” “Okay.” She pauses for a moment. “There’s something I have wanted to ask you—” “What is it?” “—but I don’t know if I should.” “Why not?” “It’s kind of personal.” I blink several times. “Go ahead and ask.” She licks her lips and says, “My question is: why don’t you just write an article and have it published? What’s holding you?” I don’t answer right away. No one has ever asked me that before. “I’m . . . afraid . . . I guess.” “What are you afraid of?” “I honestly don’t know.” “Yes, you do. Tell me.” There is something pushy and controlling in the way she tells me this, and I don’t like it. I take a gulp of Chardonnay, wipe my mouth with a napkin and say: “I’m afraid of rejection. And I’m terrified of becoming a failure. My father expects me to succeed at all cost. He says he knows my full. That the final sign I was waiting for. I approach her with my hands (As I told you, she was sleep on the floor besides my cot). I first put my hand out of my bed and slowly and steadily crawled my hands to her from my bed.I never made an attempt to peed from my bed, all my hands did) I was about to touch her and was shaken by her meekly voice, “didn’t get sleep? I immediately took my hand and my mind was boggling to death. I said “”I couldn’t'”.She raised up her knees leaning to the bed, and said let me make you sleep. She started, she started and she was on her knees leaning on the bed and I was lying on the bed, she reached my right hand and placed my palm on her cheek.My heart started pounding and my vain pumping out. We were motionless for minutes. Slowly she whispered sleep rubbing her cheek against my palm. I was relaxed by her love whisper and slowly fingered her cheek.After fingering for about 2 minutes, I slowly took my handoff her Cheek and hold her shoulder to rise up her.
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